allmiracles | no. 07 : it's a meme! a meme! also word vomit.

yes you did mention that

FEELS NOW

I LIKE RELATIONSHIP FEELS

TELL ME FEELS BETWEEN OUR PEOPLE AND POSSIBLY CAPES AND HAM AND OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS

ALSO DUDE I RESERVE THE RIGHT FOR VANYA'S RELATIONSHIP TO VANILLE!! tell me your things.

vanille wants to see cass' center. her center that she believes where there are possibly feelings? cass is always really short and to the point, while vanille is kind of babblely and helps lead the conversation into other realms. in some ways she really kind of wants to pry a little more, but doesn't want to pressure cass to tell her anything. it's kind of a delicate subject with people who have a tendency not to talk—because she always feels that there's some kind of way that she has to gently approach things to get to know her better. it's kind of like a project. then she just wants to wash her back forever when they share a bath.

HAHA I AM GOING TO WRITE THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S FRESH ON MY MIND. when we were doing our first thread i got to thinking.

I think Raines was searching—searching for a way to make us understand. To understand the frustration of being a l'Cie—a l'Cie bound to a Focus. And maybe … what it meant to be human.

quite honestly, i don't think she ever really blamed him for what he did, or um, how he tried to kill them. there's a point where she believes that what he's trying to do is grasp feebly at his humanity even though he's a l'cie, and give them mercy. so when he suddenly showed up, the first thing she kind of wanted to do was tell him how his dream was realized, even though he wasn't the one who could see it through anymore. so she sort of fumbled with the "fang and i saved cocoon and i'm so glad that i could tell you that!!" because she feels in a way, that it's a way for her to make things right and put some of his pain at ease.

vanille likes to evade her own problems by diving into other people's. she gives pieces of information out, depending on the person, and is very careful not to give too much, or the wrong kind, depending on who they are. so there are people in camp who really only have bits and pieces of how she feels, as well as what happened in the world that she comes from.

SHE STILL KIND OF HAS THAT WITH CID RAINES, except that she feels like she almost owes him. so when he asks for something, or sometimes, even when he doesn't, she forces herself to tell him things openly. liiike that time where she was very obviously uncomfortable talking about oerba and gran pulse, and he changed the subject, and she was like "no, i think you need to hear this, anyway."

so a lot of her efforts with him are trying to integrate him and explain and kind of... relax that pain? she gets really happy when they do inane things like search for tonberries or she uses his cape or whatever. because as unimportant as they seem, there's that satisfaction that he's having fun with his life really sucked on cocoon.

the end.

now it's your turn.

hi. sorry this is likely going to be long and relatively incoherent.

If it isn't obvious, Vanya adores Vanille a lot and really thinks of her as one of her Camp sisters. One day, Vanya will awkwardly ask her if that's okay, so get ready for that! Vanya sees Vanille as someone she can go to for help, or who more importantly will track Vanya down if Vanya's upset which sometimes Vanya needs and always responds to. Vanya's used to be neglected at home and even though she's had over two years at Camp she still needs people to reach out to her and she's grateful that Vanille does. Vanille is one of few people in Camp Vanya doesn't feel like she's bothering when she needs to talk to her.

Though, Vanya can tell that there are things that Vanille isn't telling her and it worries her sometimes. She doesn't want to be too nosy and ruin everything, so she's not going to push Vanille to talk about her issues even though she really wants to. Vanya does worry that Vanille might not trust her enough to tell her. She was glad that Vanille told her about Oerba and waking up in crystal even though it made them both kind of sad because Vanya hopes it means Vanille's trusting her more and thinks Vanya's good enough to talk to about serious things.

But besides that! Vanille is the awesome big sister that Vanya never had and Vanya really wishes she could be as happy and pretty and friendly and well-liked as she thinks Vanille is. Vanya looks up to her and thinks there are a lot of things she can learn from her. Vanya's also completely honored that Vanille wants to be her friend and values their friendship deeply even with the secrets she suspects Vanille is hiding. Also the valentine Vanille made her has a special place in her fort with all of her most important pictures and she really does think it helps her have better dreams.

I THINK MACHINE IS A LOT LIKE VANYA IN THE WAY THAT SHE TREATS THEM? she adores both of them like burning, but she falls into the same issues of evading her own problems to really work on theirs. she can avoid a lot of things that have happened to her/are happening to her in camp because she can really immerse herself in their own insecurities and things that they need to learn. with vanya it's her fears and needs, and with machine it's sort of integrating him into human society and teaching him things about friendship and love and how to be a person!

i don't think there's ever really been a time where she didn't think of him as a person. there's no line between HEY, HE'S A MACHINE and HEY, HE'S A PERSON to her. i think she kind of treats him more like she treats castiel in the fact that he's "something else" that really needs guidance when it comes to certain emotions. he's almost like a child in that respect. a very large metal child. part of her wants to help protect those emotions that he's having because he shouldn't be denied those kinds of things in his life, because they're so fulfilling, no matter what those emotions are.

okay broface, here it is.

BE HONORED, PETER BISHOP, you are one of the few people in camp who doesn't allow vanille to run from her crazy emotional problems. she's very evasive and omissive, and she sets up things in a certain way so when she's asked, she'll give enough pieces of vague information to someone to sate them enough so they do not ask her anymore questions. she has a very specific way she deals with things, and usually that means not dealing with them at all. even her mental process locks those things out, when she says "when things are difficult or the future hurt to see, i close my eyes and think of happier days." SO WHEN HE WAS HER COUNSELOR and totally hounded her for what went on her world, it really hurt, but i think it also forced her to look at it. when he was talking to stefan about ALL THE PEOPLE HE KILLED it was sort of the same thing, she spent seven months completely avoiding it, and then suddenly she was put in a position where she had to deal with it.

usually there's a point where all of those things make her feel really vulnerable but she doesn't really ... have that with him. because those behaviors are so ingrained in her, i think that even though she hesitates, she eventually relaxes when she's talking about whatever issue is bothering her.

even him being like I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOUR GIRL/BOYFRIENDS ARE OK makes her feel really familial. he's kind of like a big brother creature, even in the way that she teases him, so a lot of her inquiries about his life are really sincere because she very honestly wants to know about the way that he lived and what his world was like. also time. very much time and how all of that worked where he was from. (she thinks he might be able to help hope in some way, too, which is always one of her ulterior motives.)

SO ANYWAY. FAMILY. FAMILY WHO GETS GOO GOO ROMANTIC HEADCANON WITH HIS BOYFRIEND.

SURE I WILL GO FOR THIS.

1. Relationship meme with Vanille and Hope and Dante and Julian.

2. dumb headcanon with Vanille.

3. Would Vanille with a phone be like tfln!Vanille?

4. Five secrets Vanille has never told, go.

ICON

I will preface this by saying that some of this is generalized toward the Pulse l'Cie as a whole since he does still think of them as a single unit to a certain degree! Also, ahahah, LOTS OF WORD VOMIT. o/;;

In general, Cid feels a fair amount of guilt toward the Pulse l'Cie because while his plan for freeing them and saving Cocoon (or at least buying it more time before Barthandelus came up with some other way of destroying it) made sense to him, it was a very desperate maneuver; he won't deny that. He deeply appreciates what the group was able to show him in regards to fighting one's Focus and of reminding him of his own dreams and humanity. If he'd come to realize that going against his Focus was a viable option earlier, he wouldn't have taken such an extreme route to trying to solve the problem at hand.

At the same time, though, he puts a lot of faith in them to get the job done right when he himself is no longer able to, so when Vanille tells him that they've killed the fal'Cie? He's very relieved. Certainly, he would've preferred to have been able to see Cocoon being free (and to help the people get back on their feet), but that's not the important part to him. He's devoted himself to the citizens of his homeland and to freeing them from fal'Cie rule, even if he had to give up his life to do so, and to know that Vanille, who is not even a Cocoon native, was able to do something that significant--to be willing to sacrifice herself--for something he loves and holds dear makes him respect her tremendously. When he thanked her in our first thread, he really, really meant it.

He's also very much so of the mind that neither she nor Fang are really at fault for the l'Cie fiasco, the Purge, or anything else. Cid remains convinced that that's all Barthandelus' doing for setting everything in motion, so if that ever comes up in conversation again, he'll probably try and reassure her of that once more. That said, he generally won't poke or prod her (knowingly, at least) about uncomfortable topics. Cid's a fairly private individual as well, so he understands the sentiments of not wanting to talk about uncomfortable subjects, even if their reasoning isn't quite the same. (That and he rather likes the idea of maintaining the peace he's made with the l'Cie family, so he's not likely to do or say anything that may challenge the status quo.)

Annnd it is that more private self thing that makes him sort of uncomfortable with being allowed to stay with the rest of the cast. He's thankful that they've accepted him into the fold (and so easily too!), but he'll probably still feel like an outsider for a while yet--partially because of the "I tried to kill you" thing and partially because he's just not used to this entire... family idea. He hasn't shared their experiences, hasn't really led a standard family life even with his own flesh and blood, and hasn't ever really learned to rely on other people, especially in the way Vanille has described when she talks about Gran Pulse.

Cid's learning a lot from her--may it be about her homeland, camp, having fun and not being so stuffy about everything, or her as a person, and he likes that and soaks it all up like a sponge. As you said, there's something refreshing about just doing inane things, especially since the fal'Cie business had eaten up so much of his life back home. So yes. Vanille, please continue to drag Cid out to do silly things. He'll probably lineface at a lot of it, but he is genuinely thankful for being included. :3

I-I think that is all. Unless there was something specific you wanted to know about and I left it out.;;

This is actually super sweet, sob. He really is a big metal kid - blunt and has no idea about anything ever. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND KINDNESS, VANILLE.

jkfld probably something close, just not as high all the time. she'd probably send everyone really hilarious inane text message (even poor cid raines) that are like TODAY THIS HAPPENED BLAH BLAH BLAH and some are probably incoherent and full of autocorrect. she'd text message fang when she was right beside her and no one would save hope ever. sorry hope.

illyria is special snowflake. she kind of gets the castiel/machine treatment in the way that she is obviously not human but gets treated like one. vanille feels that there's a lot about emotions and a lot about humanity in general that she doesn't understand, but there's also a level where she's fascinated with it. and she wants to give back to illyria in the way illyria gives to her, even if she might not know it.

she feels very safe with her. there's no talk of what happened on her world, and nothing that she really feels the need to express, so illyria is really kind of a safe place to be. see really seeks out that kind of female attention, because in a way, it's really what makes her comfortable. she really adores her in the respect that she could really get flown into a seriously dangerous situation with her and still feel safe. like she lets herself be vulnerable when she hugs her! she lets her do things for her that she probably wouldn't normally let people do for her! IN SHORT SHE IS A BADASS LADY WHO GIVES HER A VERY INTERESTING KIND OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BY JUST BEING … WHO SHE IS. i wish i had a more graceful way of saying that, but even her mannerisms and her tone of voice are probably comforting on some level.

there's more. more later. sleep now.

so how does Vanille feel about moogles?

I will wait for the rest tomorrow! ♥ ♥ ♥

jfkdl dude dante and tatsumi are just old man camp trolls. like seriously, i feel that most of their conversations are just them trying to make the other kind of uncomfortable. but there's also that odd layer that's like "oh, i kind of find you attractive, let's have a battle of possible troll wits." in a way it's fun, it keeps dante's mind off of certain things, and it helps him adjust a little more and deal with camp better. he's in a weird place where camp's authority is really starting to make him antsy, so babbling with tatsumi, and making a little bit lighter of his issues with authority in camp kind of makes it easier.

SO IN A WAY IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR HIM? it also keeps him sharp and doesn't allow his wits to drag, which sometimes he does because he really just doesn't care what other people are thinking about him.

i am not responsible for any of this.

lincoln is actually more nurturing than he seems. he's the one who tucks peter into bed every night, and to kiss his forehead in the morning. HE'S ALSO THE ONE WHO PULLS OUT THE CHAIRS WHEN THEY GO TO EAT.

they wear matching socks. one day she'll test this theory.

she is planning their pulse-style love ceremony in her brain, sorry.

even though peter is the one who cooks most of the time, lincoln shows his love by occasionally trying his hand at it, himself. usually it ends in romantic candle lit dinners IN HER MIND.

when they sleep their socked feet stick out from beneath the covers.

God, it is like this unholy blend of the odd couple, the two old Muppet dudes and second-grad pigtail pulling. Plus sexual tension. Tatsumi does this thing where he'll be kind of a dick, in an impersonal sort of way, but, on a whole, professional when dealing with people in general... but he's just. A terrible person to people that he likes. Unless they're very much kindred spirits who are more sort of commiserating chums, he just... gosh. Seems to show affection by mocking, bullying and trolling people as much as he can. And then cooking dinner for everyone or something. IT'S SO EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

I think that Tatsumi sees Dante as being like a co-worker, though in that loaded Yami no Matsuei sense of "co-worker," where it becomes this funny little family-esque sort of thing that is sometimes not all that close but also sometimes kind of incestuous. And that's really... a comfort to Tatsumi, because he was working as a shinigami for, like, half a century and then that predictability was suddenly gone and now there's the possibility of never going back to it and the future is terrifying if he thinks too hard about it.

CASS DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND VANILLE but she kind of reminds Cass of Steph and... Cass generally feels like she should have more girlfriends. Vanille's body language is kind of super obvious so it's not hard for her to figure out that Vanille isn't being entirely honest about her history, but whatever. BATS DON'T CARE.

How often should they hold hands on a scale of one to forever?

5EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

also vanille is very good at that body language thing. BUT IT'S PROBABLY STILL OBVIOUS BUT SHE'S STILL SURPRISINGLY GOOD AT IT.

Tell me about their first girly adventure night. DRABBLE IT

omg she thinks mog is the cutest thing ever. she's also aware that mog is out to help serah (and a lot of other people too, including lightning) and really respects that even though he's super tiny that he's totally doing his job despite it! the whole thing is really inspiring. sheeee also has a feeling that he's pretty depressed about what happened? because really, who wouldn't be? and treats his emotions just like she treats people emotions. so there's really no difference between how she emotionally supports others and how she emotionally supports mog even though he's a moogle!

i think there's also a bit where vanille feels like she doesn't want to show vanya her problems because she has to be brave for her. she has to set a good example and be that kind of emotional support.

no. 07 : it's a meme! a meme! also word vomit.

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goo goo love headcanon.

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