no. 07 : it's a meme! a meme! also word vomit.

[allmiracles]

omg guys. so vanille has reached over 5,000 comments!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, RIGHT? IT'S TIME FOR AN EVERYTHING MEME. i mean everything. i promise i won't even flake, all you people that i flaked on before. relationships, first impressions, headcanon, drabbles (including "5 things" drabbles), questions, hot or not, fst, blah blah blah, you can even make up stuff and i'll do it.

this includes vanille, dante & ryoji.

Comments

[fallacies]

TELL ME FEELS BETWEEN OUR PEOPLE AND POSSIBLY CAPES AND HAM AND OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS

[allmiracles]

HAHA I AM GOING TO WRITE THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S FRESH ON MY MIND. when we were doing our first thread i got to thinking.

I think Raines was searching—searching for a way to make us understand. To understand the frustration of being a l'Cie—a l'Cie bound to a Focus. And maybe … what it meant to be human.

quite honestly, i don't think she ever really blamed him for what he did, or um, how he tried to kill them. there's a point where she believes that what he's trying to do is grasp feebly at his humanity even though he's a l'cie, and give them mercy. so when he suddenly showed up, the first thing she kind of wanted to do was tell him how his dream was realized, even though he wasn't the one who could see it through anymore. so she sort of fumbled with the "fang and i saved cocoon and i'm so glad that i could tell you that!!" because she feels in a way, that it's a way for her to make things right and put some of his pain at ease.

vanille likes to evade her own problems by diving into other people's. she gives pieces of information out, depending on the person, and is very careful not to give too much, or the wrong kind, depending on who they are. so there are people in camp who really only have bits and pieces of how she feels, as well as what happened in the world that she comes from.

SHE STILL KIND OF HAS THAT WITH CID RAINES, except that she feels like she almost owes him. so when he asks for something, or sometimes, even when he doesn't, she forces herself to tell him things openly. liiike that time where she was very obviously uncomfortable talking about oerba and gran pulse, and he changed the subject, and she was like "no, i think you need to hear this, anyway."

so a lot of her efforts with him are trying to integrate him and explain and kind of... relax that pain? she gets really happy when they do inane things like search for tonberries or she uses his cape or whatever. because as unimportant as they seem, there's that satisfaction that he's having fun with his life really sucked on cocoon.

the end.

now it's your turn.

[fallacies]

I will preface this by saying that some of this is generalized toward the Pulse l'Cie as a whole since he does still think of them as a single unit to a certain degree! Also, ahahah, LOTS OF WORD VOMIT. o/;;

In general, Cid feels a fair amount of guilt toward the Pulse l'Cie because while his plan for freeing them and saving Cocoon (or at least buying it more time before Barthandelus came up with some other way of destroying it) made sense to him, it was a very desperate maneuver; he won't deny that. He deeply appreciates what the group was able to show him in regards to fighting one's Focus and of reminding him of his own dreams and humanity. If he'd come to realize that going against his Focus was a viable option earlier, he wouldn't have taken such an extreme route to trying to solve the problem at hand.

At the same time, though, he puts a lot of faith in them to get the job done right when he himself is no longer able to, so when Vanille tells him that they've killed the fal'Cie? He's very relieved. Certainly, he would've preferred to have been able to see Cocoon being free (and to help the people get back on their feet), but that's not the important part to him. He's devoted himself to the citizens of his homeland and to freeing them from fal'Cie rule, even if he had to give up his life to do so, and to know that Vanille, who is not even a Cocoon native, was able to do something that significant--to be willing to sacrifice herself--for something he loves and holds dear makes him respect her tremendously. When he thanked her in our first thread, he really, really meant it.

He's also very much so of the mind that neither she nor Fang are really at fault for the l'Cie fiasco, the Purge, or anything else. Cid remains convinced that that's all Barthandelus' doing for setting everything in motion, so if that ever comes up in conversation again, he'll probably try and reassure her of that once more. That said, he generally won't poke or prod her (knowingly, at least) about uncomfortable topics. Cid's a fairly private individual as well, so he understands the sentiments of not wanting to talk about uncomfortable subjects, even if their reasoning isn't quite the same. (That and he rather likes the idea of maintaining the peace he's made with the l'Cie family, so he's not likely to do or say anything that may challenge the status quo.)

Annnd it is that more private self thing that makes him sort of uncomfortable with being allowed to stay with the rest of the cast. He's thankful that they've accepted him into the fold (and so easily too!), but he'll probably still feel like an outsider for a while yet--partially because of the "I tried to kill you" thing and partially because he's just not used to this entire... family idea. He hasn't shared their experiences, hasn't really led a standard family life even with his own flesh and blood, and hasn't ever really learned to rely on other people, especially in the way Vanille has described when she talks about Gran Pulse.

Cid's learning a lot from her--may it be about her homeland, camp, having fun and not being so stuffy about everything, or her as a person, and he likes that and soaks it all up like a sponge. As you said, there's something refreshing about just doing inane things, especially since the fal'Cie business had eaten up so much of his life back home. So yes. Vanille, please continue to drag Cid out to do silly things. He'll probably lineface at a lot of it, but he is genuinely thankful for being included. :3

I-I think that is all. Unless there was something specific you wanted to know about and I left it out.;;